Marriage is a partnership, not a fairytale - Linda and me - Bird Youmans
Today's Video
I haven't written in a few days. Life gets in the way at times. I got to enjoy some Daughter and great grandsons and granddaughter time. And then some emergency time unfortunately. But it is all life and like a river, it continues to roll and we roll with it, like it or not.
Today as promised, I am writing about Linda and me. To all the young people out there may I start with this. Marriage is a partnership, not a fairytale. If you get the partnership right, the fairytale will follow. Linda is almost 70 and I'm 77 and our love for each other has grown over the years because our respect for each other has grown. Linda and I both had earlier marriages that did not work out, but thankfully we have good relationships with our ex's. That is important and I'm thankful for that. So there is hope for second chances! Most partnerships have ups and downs, good times and bad times. But successful partnerships learn to navigate and negotiate the rapids. No two people agree on everything, but if both people care about the other and respect each other, you find a way to compromise. You won't expect to always get your way, and most importantly, you won't expect your partner to magically figure out how to best serve you today without being asked in order to prove they love you. Dream on lol!
Sadly, living in the disposable world we now inhabit, we tend to be that way with relationships. If the Bic runs out, just buy another lighter. After a while that gets expensive in relationships. Quick! So finding the right "partner" is what one should be on the look out for, not a Prince or a Princess. They don't exist. If you are looking for someone to make you happy, you are going to be in for a long, disappointing search. Happiness begins within. It comes more from serving than being served. Very important to remember that.
Linda and I started our relationship talking for hours. We found that we had much in common yet, much that was different. But we learned to use our differences to our advantage. She was good at selling things, I was not. But I was good at making things to sell, which was music among other things. See how that works? Our "dates" wound up being long rides and we would just talk. I was an entertainer, and she was a sales lady. We found a way to make that work together. She became my manager and booking agent. She would book the dates and I would go play them so to speak and we found we made a good living that way. I spent time recording and making casettes and Cd's and she was always promoting and "selling" me. She was always in real estate, had her own company and was quite good at that as well. Once I got to where it was getting harder and harder to travel, the real estate kept us going while I did more recording and learning to make videos and I also began developing my youtube channel. Along in there somewhere I did an Ebay store, however, that's another story to tell. You just keep it going.
But the point I'm making here is that we cared about each other's well being and happiness and we worked thru whatever challenges we met. Sometimes it was easy, sometimes it wasn't, but bottom line, she knew I wasn't leaving and I knew she wasn't leaving. You just keep going. It's amazing what some food and some rest can do for you at times when it gets challenging lol! But, it takes two and you just keep doing it together. The challenge of course is finding someone who is willing to make that commitment with you. When we're young we think love conquers all. I give that about 6 months to a couple of years if you're lucky. If you haven't learned to be partners by then, it's going to be a long ride and not a good one. But, if you pass the partnership test, then you will learn what love really is. I am so glad to have found Linda. Hopefully we have both made each others lives better as a result of our partnership. I know mine has been far better with her than without her! (There have been moments of course when that was debatable lol! Billy Graham's wife Ruth was once asked if she ever considered divorce. She said no, never considered divorce, but considered murder a couple of times! It helps to be able to laugh at ourselves occasionally as well.)
I could go on and on, but you get the point. We are a team, no matter what. Let me leave you with the most beautiful commentary I ever read on marriage. It is from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran:
And what of Marriage, master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you
shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white
wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the
silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance
between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond
of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from
one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat
not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each
other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain
your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near
together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow
not in each other’s shadow.
If you ponder this and come to understand it, and then find a partner who also understands it, your life together will be enriched beyond measure! Linda and I have always been very independent but stood as pillars working together to hold up the roof so to speak. Independent, but working together toward a common goal. It allowed us our individuality, our self esteem and the ability to grow as we saw fit without being held down by the other. In fact, we encouraged each others growth. Thank you Baby Doll! You'll never know how important that has been to me as an artist!!
I basically shared this in hopes that some young people, or older people still looking, or even those needing a second chance might find some insight into what to look for in a mate. Certainly there will be differences here and there because we aren't all alike, but the basis is the same. Independent togetherness! Once you understand what that means, you're heading in the right direction.
Not sure what I'll write about next, but I'll think of something.
To explore my youtube channels, click the links below:
A Play List of all my Gospel Songs
Bird's Old Time Gospel Music Sing Along
The sing along channel is where I do a livestream each Friday night at 9PM EST. I put the words on the screen to my videos and we all sing along and I tell stories about the songs as well as some "Philosophiz'n" here and there. We have what might well be the most loving chat room on the internet. Hope you'll join us if you like the old songs! 💔
If you'd like to see the studio being built, here is a play list for some video I shot while building it. I got so busy with my livestream that I am still trying to finish the editing, so there are still some videos to come, but they will be added to the playlist as they become available. Here's the link:
A Play List for building the Little Studio
And the link to my Music Store for my CD's:
Click here to go to My Music Store for CD's
Comments
Post a Comment